John Wayne & Mac&Cheese!
Värsta amerikanska dagen idag, jag har käkat en massa god mat och läst John Wayne-skämt. Tänkte bjuda på några:
Sex Ed:
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they’d ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV.
Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies.
Great, said the teacher, that’s very important.
Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married.
Well, that has to do with it too, said the teacher.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all.
The teacher said, Well, Johnny, that really doesn’t have anything to do with sex education.
Yes it does, said Johnny, it taught those Indians not to fuck with John Wayne.
John Wayne Toilet Paper:
Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented.
An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods.
Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper.
And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest.
The next day, the Indian was looking over the different types of toilet paper and asked the clerk how much the Soft and Gentle was.That’d be $2.50, said the clerk.
Too much, mumbled the Indian, how about the ‘Gentle’? That one’s $2, answered the clerk.
Still too much, complained the Indian, anything cheaper?
Welllll, replied the clerk, We do have a generic kind. What generic mean? asked the Indian. It means it doesn’t have a name, and it’s only 50 cents.
Me take that, said the Indian. The next day, the Indian returns to the trading post and tells the clerk, Me have name for generic toilet paper.
Oh, says the clerk, what’s the name?
Me call it John Wayne… it’s rough, tough and it take no crap from Indian.
Sex Ed:
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they’d ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV.
Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies.
Great, said the teacher, that’s very important.
Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married.
Well, that has to do with it too, said the teacher.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all.
The teacher said, Well, Johnny, that really doesn’t have anything to do with sex education.
Yes it does, said Johnny, it taught those Indians not to fuck with John Wayne.
John Wayne Toilet Paper:
Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented.
An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods.
Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper.
And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest.
The next day, the Indian was looking over the different types of toilet paper and asked the clerk how much the Soft and Gentle was.That’d be $2.50, said the clerk.
Too much, mumbled the Indian, how about the ‘Gentle’? That one’s $2, answered the clerk.
Still too much, complained the Indian, anything cheaper?
Welllll, replied the clerk, We do have a generic kind. What generic mean? asked the Indian. It means it doesn’t have a name, and it’s only 50 cents.
Me take that, said the Indian. The next day, the Indian returns to the trading post and tells the clerk, Me have name for generic toilet paper.
Oh, says the clerk, what’s the name?
Me call it John Wayne… it’s rough, tough and it take no crap from Indian.
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